Necessity of Parental Spiritual Leadership

Necessity of Parental Spiritual Leadership In this paper, I will show why I believe the parents are to be the primary spiritual caregivers of their children. I believe that there is more than just personal preference deciding who should train children spiritually. This has been a topic of much discussion and one that needs to be brought to the attention of parents. Parents in North America have largely left the spiritual raising of their children up to the church. This is why there are many children and family pastors. I believe that the churchs role is to support the parents in raising children spiritually. It would help to begin by defining some terms. When talking about spiritual leadership, what then is meant? Spiritual leadership is quite simply leadership that is spiritual. Leadership is the act of leading a group of people. This can be by taking somebody from one place and moving them to another by being an example and correcting should the need arise. Spiritual leadership takes the idea of leadership one step further by making it about leading somebody spiritually. What then isÂÂ   meant by spiritual in spiritual leadership?ÂÂ   Spiritual pertains to the realm of religion. In this paper, spiritual will refer to the leading and following of Jesus Christ. Now that spiritual leadership has been defined who can be spiritual leaders? Spiritual leaders can be anybody who is farther along on the faith journey than the one theyre leading. This might include pastors, teachers, leaders, parents, older siblings, or older individuals in the church. In some cases, the spiritual lead er is younger than whom he is leading. Why do children need spiritual leadership? George Barna in his book on transforming children[K1], says that in order to have a proper relationship with God, children must be taught to obey Him.[1] Children need someone to guide them along this journey of life to becoming more like Christ. They need someone to teach them the things of God. They will not and cannot do that on their own. They are in dire need of someone to guide them who is more spiritually mature than they are. What does spiritual leadership have to do with families? Moses wrote in Deuteronomy chapter 6 These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.[2] These verses give a clear indication that children are to be taught the things of God by their parents. These words were spoken by Moses as a direct command from God. God was to be taught about by the parents all the time. There is a clear indication of this by the words when you sit, when you walk, when you lie down and when you rise up. One can infer that this is to be an every day, every week, every month, and every year occurrence. The Bible is clear where talks about parents teaching their children. Does spiritual leadership need to come from the family or can it come from somewhere else? The two locations that spiritual leadership can come from is the family or the church. The church is a great place for Spiritual leadership come from because of the amount of knowledge that most leaders in the church have. On the other hand, a family is also a great place for it to come from because; there is the sheer amount of time that they are with their children and the built in trust the children have for their parents. The question is, is the church and the family equal in terms of training or is one better than the other? When the church leads spiritually, there can be much benefit to the children. Reggie Joiner believes that, The church is a critical part of Gods divine strategy to demonstrate His redemptive story to the world.[3] Over the years, since its inception, the church has perfected the art of teaching. It has designed strategies to guide children into the knowledge of Jesus Christ. The church has specific vacation strategies called VBS, Vacation Bible School, to get the gospel into the hearts of the boys and girls. Many boys and girls give their life to Christ at the VBS. These take place all around the world. George Barna said that, Most church-going parents are neither spiritually mature nor spiritually inclined and therefore they do not have the sense of urgency or necessity about raising their kids to be spiritual champions.[4] The church has picked up the slack of parents. This is why there are becoming more and more children and youth directors. Churches are realizing that parents are not doing their God-given responsibility to lead their children spiritually. Putting it quite simply when he said, while more than four out of five parents believe they have the primary responsibility for the moral and spiritual development of their children, more than two-thirds of them abdicate that responsibility to their church. Their virtual abandonment of spiritual leadership for their children is evident in how infrequently they engage in faith-oriented activities with their young ones.[5], George Barna identified the key problem in the lives of parents today. When children come to church they are taught by educators who have spent all week learning a lesson that they will teach to the children. This lesson has been specifically planned to aid in the spiritual development of the child.ÂÂ   The Sunday school teachers, many who have done this for many years, are teaching out of the experience and other things that they have learned. This teaching becomes concentrated in i ts Biblical content. A former childrens director Michelle Anthony stated what most workers in childrens ministry feel when she said, We desire that those in our care will have been spiritually formed by the time they leave our ministry.[6] It is this desire that drives the many childrens workers at churches around the world. All this so far seems well and good, but[K2] Barna figured out the problem with this church predominant teaching. He said, So, parents are happy, children receive some religious instruction and experiences, and the churches are serving people. This sounds like a wonderful win-win situation except for one issue: the approach is completely unbiblical.[7]ÂÂ   This leads to an improper view that the church should be the primary spiritual caregivers of children. They can have an influence, but[K3] should not be the primary. When parents make the decision to lead spiritually it can have the largest impact on their children.ÂÂ   Parents have the unique,opportunity to help them (kids) discover, access, and strengthen their (kids) trust and faith in Jesus Christ[8] as authors Powell and Clark correctly identified. Children are born into this world completely helpless. They cannot do anything on their own. As they begin to grow, they become attached to their parents. They look to the parents for guidance, support, and encouragement. Through this relationship that has been God-given, the parents can use this relationship to begin guiding their children to follow Jesus Christ. As George Barna specified, Spiritual development is a lifelong continual process. It is not to be practiced as a once a week routine[K4], but a 24/7 habit.[9] This is attainable by the parents and not the church. There are 168 hours in a week. 56 of those are designated as sleeping hours. Children spend approximately 40 hours in sch ool. This leaves 78 hours of the week that the children are neither sleeping nor at school. These 78 hours can be intentional hours that parents can use to guide their children spiritually. The church only gets probably 1 to 2 hours a week of spiritual influence over the children. Powell and Clark also stated so well that parents, model an unconditional, nonjudgmental, and ever embracing love in which our kids can do nothing that jeopardizes or even lessen that love.[10] Through this parents can show pragmatically to their children that nothing can drive the kids out of the family. The parents are modeling the same that is true in Gods family. Once they are a part of Gods family, nothing they can do is able to snatch them out of the Fathers hand.[11] Parents must not wait until children are in school to begin the spiritual training of their children. They can begin as early as when they bring them home from the hospital. By simply singing the song Jesus Loves Me, parents can begin the spiritual training of their children. This song speaks great theological truths. Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. The children can know first off that Jesus loves them. Second, they can learn to trust the Bible. It is the Bible that accurately tells them the truth that Jesus loves them.ÂÂ   The parents are teaching[K5] though the song even before the child can speak. Children can know these truths from a very young age and all it begins with is the parent singing the song to them and they are imparting deep theological truth. The authors of Losing Your Marbles plainly state, If kids dont feel loved when theyre young, they may never love themselves in a healthy way.[12] This is very easily done by parents who can model the u nconditional love that God has for us. Parents can teach their children the love of the Father with the love that they have for their kids. It is kind of ironic that God describes himself as a Father. That is what sets parenting apart from anything else. God has allowed parents to take those young individuals and be able to mold them in accordance with His Word. Jesus welcomed the little children onto His knee. He still wants kids to be with him. In their book Sticky Faith Drs. Powell and Clark say that when kids come to the conclusion through failure or pain that theyre not in control of their faith and they lose interest in their faith, they are going to set that faith aside. Parents must help the kids discover the faith that doesnt fade by staying true to the words of Jesus. They wrote the children need to learn to trust in the one the Father has sent and live convinced that the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.[13] Again, Michelle Anthony brought the important truth out when she said, As ministers of Christ, I believe our job is to simply hoist our sail far and as wide as we can and catch the wind of God. That sail is important, but not as important as the wind.[14] As parents deal with children day after day they will be able to see these areas where the Holy Spirit is moving and use that prompting to speak the truth of God into the kids lives. Even a simple thing like walking down the stree t, there are areas that parents can use to teach about Gods greatness. As the children hear about news articles, parents can use that as a jumping point to speak the truth. As the parents listen for Gods direction, they will be able to use random things that can happen every single day as teaching points. Its no accident that God directly told the parents in Deuteronomy to teach the things of God, when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.[15] These words are very strong proof that it must be the parents that lead spiritually. The church is simply not in the kids lives often enough. In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with the church teaching children spiritually[K6], but they must not be the primary. The primary spiritual leadership needs to come from the parents. They have been called by God to fulfill this role. Often parents dont know where to start[K7], but, even just reading the Bible with their kids is a great place to start. Its no coincidence that God has placed children in a family and when someone receives Jesus as their Savior they become part of Gods family. The family is very important to God and that is why the parents can reach their children best. The book Think Orange underlying theme is that the parents are red; signifying their love for the children and the church is yellow, signifying it as a light in the world. It is only when both come together, red and yellow that you get orange. Rather than the church doing one thing and the parents doing another thing, if they work together they can attack two fronts. When you combine two influences, you amplify whats important[16] The best, and most ideal situation, is the family providing the primary spiritual leadership[K8], and the church coming alongside and augmenting the parents teaching with their own teaching. The churchs role is to evangelize the world. The parents role is to disciple and train their children as spiritual leaders. This is not a task that parents can approach half-heartedly, theyÂÂ   must daily rely on the Holy Spirit to guide them in this rewarding task. Annotated Bibliography Anthony, Michelle Dreaming of More For The Next Generation Colorado Springs, Colorado: David C. Cook, 2012 Boys and girls come to Sunday School every single week and every single week, sadly, boys and girls stop coming to Sunday School. This book explores the ideas of what could happen if boys and girls, entire families, learned about got together. Imagine what could happen to our world if this generation of Christians altered their mindset about the importance of disciple in children. If an entire generation continued to practice the things that they learned in Sunday school as kids. The change can happen and it starts with parents to taking their role of spiritual leaders seriously. Anthony, Michelle; Marshman, Megan 7 Family Ministry Essentials Colorado Springs, Colorado; David C. Cook, 2015 Ministry to families has become something of an important aspect in many churches today. No longer are specific leaders just ministering to kids but, there is a gradual shift towards the church providing something for the entire family. This book looks at 7 essential aspects related to ministering to families. The first aspect is essential to this report with its title being Empowering Family as Primary. The authors suggest that in one generation there could be a shift in the primacy of parents being the primary spiritual caregivers for kids. Recycling, seatbelts, and sunscreen have changed from obscurity to necessity in only one generation. Think what could happen if we made this the prime thing we were teaching parents. Barna, George Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions Ventura, California: Barna Research Group, Ltd., 2003 When it comes to raising boys and girls according to the word of God, George Barna leads the pack on championing this cause. He has done extensive research into reasons why children need to the number one priority in the church. He says that children need to be an investment by the church. With all the research that has been done, children are still influenced primarily by their parents. Even though churches do have an influence on children, the church is on the lowest tier of influence. Parents must rise up and take their place in leading their family spiritually. Joiner, Reggie Think Orange Colorado Springs, Colorado: David C. Cook, 2012 With the church averaging only 40 hours of a year to influence a child, compared to the 3000 that parents get, it only makes sense to have parents use that time to spiritually raise their children. The think orange philosophy is that when parents and the church work together, the spiritual training can be attacked on both fronts. Families being red, representing love and church being yellow, representing light, it is when those two combine you get orange. The author stresses that the parents voice needs to be the strongest in a kids life. The parents need to matter more than their friends, more than a coach, and more than the world. This book, if properly utilized, could change the church today, because it changes families. Joiner, Reggie; Hansen, Elizabeth; Ivy, Kristen Losing Your Marbles Cumming, Georgia: The reThink Group, Inc., 2013 Reggie Joiner weaves the tale of a boy named Simon and his quest to do the right thing at school. This book takes a look at one week out of out of Simons life and the massive changes that can take place in strictly one week. Flipping the book over, Joiner stresses that kids need six things repeatedly in their lives to make a difference. When these six things are done by parents, they can make lasting changes in their childrens lives. The six things are time over time, love over time, words over time, stories over time, tribes over time, and fun over time. These six things done over time, show children that they matter and in these parents can speak spiritually into their kids lives. Newheiser, Jim Parenting is More Than a Formula Philipsburg, New Jersey: PR Publishing Company, 2015 This book is written as an encouragement to parents that sometimes the best parenting doesnt follow strict rules. A key portion of the book is on the parental duties as directed from scripture, with the following section on responsibilities of the child for the choices that he makes. This book hits the nail on the head when it points out the very important high point that its only by Gods grace our kids can be saved. Powell, Kara E.; Clark, Chap Sticky Faith Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2011 This book explores the relationship between children who are raised in the church who is that walk away from it as they get older. The numbers speak of 50% of kids walking away from their faith, their faith does not stick. The essential leading factor with the decision to stay or leave the faith is the influence that parents have on the kids. The authors write that as children get older they need to have developed faith for themselves otherwise, it will not stick and they will walk away. In order to make Faith stick, parents must have conversations with their children about spiritual things throughout the week and not only on Sundays. [1] George Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions (Ventura, California: Barna Research Group, Ltd., 2003), 61 [2] Deut. 6:6-7 (NASB) [3] Reggie Joiner, Think Orange (Colorado Springs, Colorado: David C. Cook, 2012), 36 [4] George Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions (Ventura, California: Barna Research Group, Ltd., 2003), 111 [5] George Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions (Ventura, California: Barna Research Group, Ltd., 2003), 109 [6] Michelle Anthony, Dreaming of More For The Next Generation (Colorado Springs, Colorado: David C. Cook, 2012), 29 [7] George Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions (Ventura, California: Barna Research Group, Ltd., 2003), 114 [8] Kara E. Powell and Chap Clark, Sticky Faith (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2011), 37 [9] George Barna, Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions (Ventura, California: Barna Research Group, Ltd., 2003), 116 [10] Ibid. [11] John 10:29 (NASB) [12] Reggie Joiner, Elizabeth Hansen, Kristen, Losing Your Marbles (Cumming, Georgia: The reThink Group, Inc., 2013), 47 [13] Kara E. Powell and Chap Clark, Sticky Faith (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2011), 36 [14] Michelle Anthony, Megan Marshman, 7 Family Ministry Essentials )Colorado Springs, Colorado; David C. Cook, 2015), 121 [15] Deut. 6:6-7 (NASB) [16] Reggie Joiner, Think Orange (Colorado Springs, Colorado: David C. Cook, 2012), 134 [K1]comma [K2]comma [K3]comma [K4]comma [K5]awkward sentence [K6]comma [K7]comma here instead [K8]comma